Message by Oyelakin Gbolahan Pearl
Text: Genesis 2:16-25
|Love or Infatuation|
The issue of this theme is something that centers or focuses on the subject of LOVE. There are many books and messages that have been published on the subject of LOVE. Love is one of the most used and misused words in the world. Love means different things to different to different people. We live a pluralistic world…
A relationship often begins where two people professing to love each other decide on love. Though, both may have different meanings they give to love. It could be true LOVE or INFATUATION.
Quick Overview of the Meaning of LOVE
- A hole in the heart ------------Ben Hecht
- A grave mental disease --------Plato
- A feeling you felt when you feel something you have never felt before ---------Anonymous
- A desperate madness -------------John Ford
- A sentimental measles ----------Charles Kingsley
- A mutual understanding ------------Oscar Wilde
- To will the good of another ------------St. Thomas Aquinas
But for the sake of this teaching, our focus will be on the divine pattern for discerning and choosing a suitable companion/helper as such to have a successful, fulfilled and happy marriage that is heaven on earth.
· God’s intention and plan for man – God created man with an intention to empower him with every necessary things with a singular view to ESTABLISH HIS KINGDOM on earth. Hereby, man is an Ambassador or Representative of (God) Heaven on Earth. 2 Corinthians 5:20, Matthew 6:10. Genesis 2:15 - God placed man in the Garden He planted in Eden and commissioned man to CULTIVATE IT and GUARD IT. Every MALE MAN has a specific assignment, purpose and mission or task given by God to fulfill and do on earth. You need to locate your Eden and discover your assignment. It is on this premise that man's search for a suitable helper meet for his need is justified. (Genesis 2:18). Every Christian woman must ask any man who intends to marry them what his specific assignment is.
· God’s intention and plan for man’s suitable helper – The work given to man is such that man is unable to fulfill the divine commission alone; he requires an help meet for his need. God therefore, made a suitable companion for the first man Adam. I am glad to inform you that He is still in the business of making a suitable companion for His sons. The roles of a companion in ensuring the achievement of man's commission can be seen in the meaning or definition of who a companion is. Both the man and his suitable companion have one mission, goal or aim - to fulfill a specific singular purpose of God. It is unfortunate to know that many young men and women enter into marriage relationships today without a specific purpose. Women, make sure you ask your intended husband who work he has gotten which he needs your help or what journey he is embarking on that he needs your company.
WHO IS A COMPANION
According to the Advanced Learner’s Dictionary of Current English, Second Edition,
- A person who goes with or is after or always with another.
- A person who shares in the work, pleasures, misfortunes, etc of another.
- A person with similar tastes, interests.
- One of two things that go together; that matches another or is one of a pair.
FINDING A SUITABLE COMPANION
|Finding the Man/Woman that really loves you|
In finding a good partner, you need to first of all be a good person. Work on yourself in being a good person before seeking for a good partner. It takes God through the leading of His Spirit to find a suitable companion. It's not by might, by sight or by sagacity and prowess; but only by His Spirit. Zechariah 4:6.
Just like buying a suite or coat or blazer; we always look for a suited one not the one that will look like "My Daddy dash me" after you wear it on. So, we need to seek after a suited companion and not just anyone.
HOW TO WORK ON IMPROVING SELF IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD PERSON
There are 5 Pillars of Self-Development:
a) Spiritual works – study the Bible, prayer life/altar, spiritual commitments and services, attend programmes and seminars…
b) Intellectual-educational work
c) Financial work – get a work or business enterprises that will enable you have a consistent means of income or earnings.
d) Emotional work – develop a strong self-control. Be a spirit-controlled man or woman.
e) Physical work – let moderation and fear of God be your motto. Beauty, Personal Hygiene, Communication and presentations (verbal and non-verbal) and Good health status.
These enhance attractions and make the finding process easy in a sense.
Finding is not solely the work of the male man; the female man is equally a stakeholder in the Ultimate search for Cinderella and Prince Charming respectively.
Finding via: WAITING ON GOD. Psalms 27:14
- The Word of God - wait in consistent study of God's word.
- Prayers - wait in consistent praise and prayers.
INDICATORS OR AIDS TO FINDING A SUITABLE COMPANION
1. Dreams & Trances: God still speaks through dreams and trances, but be very discerning because the devil can manipulate these.
2. Inner Voices: This is a kind of gentle voice spoken on the inner mind. God speaks through His Spirit to our Spirit man when we study His words and pray, revealing His will to us.
3. Prophecies: The ministry of the Prophets is still active and intended by God to guide us in His will. Hebrews 1:1.
4. Visions & Revelations: God has a special way of encountering us, as such that we can clearly decipher His will and watchfully instruct us to action in obedience. Through Holy Spirit, He reveals His plans to us – the hidden secret things of God for our lives.
5. Personal Convictions: This is important because we all have a living conscience. Man is a logical being that tends to rationalize everything. Therefore, it is important for our convictions to be guided by God’s word.
6. Peace of mind: This is largely necessary; whatever you do or will decide on that will result into inner conflict and inner unrest, it’s an indication that you will never like it or that it is wrong.
7. Parental guidance, advices and consent: God has placed them in our lives to guide us in the right way we need to go in life. Honour them by listening to them and consider their pieces of advice. Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:1-4.
8. Pastoral Guidance & Counseling: Seek and respect the godly counsel given by your Spiritual leaders who have right intentions for you. Nonetheless, beware of match-making.
Whichever of these, the role of personal convictions, peace of mind and parental consent and advises cannot be overemphasized.
- PRESSURE: - Avoid Peer pressure, Family pressure, Societal pressure and other forms of marital pressure.
- PERSONAL JUDGEMENT: - Avoid self-condemnation regardless of your past and avoid being judgemental.
25 PEOPLE YOU CANNOT PROPOSE TO
1. Someone who is an Unbeliever, who is influenced or controlled by other things except Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:14
2. Someone who is a Backslider – a consistent sinner is a child of the devil. 1 John 3:8-10.
3. Someone who is a New Convert – a Spiritual Baby. 1Peter 2:1-2.
4. Someone who is Immature - spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, educational immaturity.
5. Someone who just broke up from a relationship. Such person has not been fully healed.
6. Someone who is a divorcee. Matthew 19:9. Divorcee is someone who legally ended a failed marriage.
7. Someone you have an intention to change. Are you the Holy Spirit?
8. Someone with unproven characters and bad testimonies. Philippians 4:8.
9. Someone you cannot accept his/her past, present and future. Every life is made up of these tripartite functional phases – the past life, the present life and the future life. If you want to know who a man is, get to know his/her past, present and future.
10. Someone with an unacceptable friends & family train. Someone you cannot accept his/her friends, family and relatives. You cannot separate your partner’s friends and family from his/her life.
11. Someone who is a threat to you. That is, someone who always threatens you for love and makes you feel inferior.
12. Someone who can make you lose your real identity; be it spiritual, physical and emotional identities.
13. Someone who will not respect and honor your personal or family standards. Proverbs 22:28.
14. Someone who doesn’t have a joyful heart and spirit, that is always moody.
15. Someone that always insist he/she can never change when he/she des wrong. You cannot handle his/her temperaments.
16. Someone you cannot enjoy or that you don’t enjoy his/her company. Such cannot be your friend and once there is no friendship, there is no love. Love always begins with friendship.
17. Someone under any pressure or sexual pressure...
18. Someone who is not your friend or who is a stranger. Here, I’m not talking about just a casual friend or mere social media network friend.
19. Someone you don’t trust.
20. Someone who is manipulative.
21. Someone who is with an intention to impress, oppress, suppress, depress and regress. An IMPRESSOR, OPPRESSOR, SUPPRESSOR, DEPRESSOR AND REGRESSOR
22. Someone who is a polygamist or having different religious marriage belief.
23. Someone who is always in haste, reckless and careless. That is, avoid AUGUST RUSH – Final Year Brethren (FYB), NYSC syndromes.
24. Someone because of his/her possessions – money, properties, physical endowment, positions, etc. All these are unstable reasons and not formidable enough to see you through the tide of marriage and storms of life.
25. Someone who is insane, mentally retarded or possessed. Such cannot consciously decide rightly.
I pray you will not make a wrong choice.
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